In 2016, for a brief period, I revisited themes explored in NEW LIFE (2011), by this time my palette had shifted from visceral reds and fleshy pinks toward the cooler colours of the spectrum. Egg III was the first work of the series, later to be titled INDIGO CHILD (2016). - Tracy Payne

Our role as womxn has been dictated. Our planet has been poisoned. Our mutual, collective bodies have been used. We must confront the subjugated role that we have been placed in by society – a place where our bodies are continuously raped without consequence to the rapist. For centuries, a womxn’s body has been uprooted and torn apart with scars that we all still bear through our collective humanity. There has been an explicit understanding that it is acceptable and tolerated to do violence to womxn, womxn of colour and the Trans community – only then to be told that it is their fault, and they deserve it. We, whosebodies are violated for pleasure and power, must bear the shame of it rather than the abuser. The legal system has been built with us as an afterthought – this system hailing from such famously misogynist and close-minded societies as imperial Rome and colonial England. Judith Butler’s words ring true when confronting this lofty structure in our society: “When the law is the problem, to whom do you appeal?” Power has been considered and consolidated into the hands of ‘professionals’ – those who purport to be fair and just in their dealings, but made their power and their success on our backs. Rectifying this great power imbalance is, as the above title indicates, wildly difficult. There is no justice right now – we therefore must create what we can through ourselves. We must take strength and use our powers of creation through our collective empathy rather than capitulate in despair to the violence that has been done to us.

In order to access these memories and see ourselves more clearly, we must take the radical step of looking inward. As stated, humans are the only beings on earth to have this introspective potential – but looking inward can be difficult, especially when society does not necessarily encourage the process for fear of disrupting the present status quo. Delving deep into the human spirit – our collective memories and experiences – can also be challenging. - Ruzy Rusike

We must be the harbingers of change in our world, but none of us can do it alone. Nature is in constant flux – it is ever changing, growing, mutating, decaying, and regrowing. We must do the same. Once we have borne the brunt of what has happened to us, we must decide to begin again and change ourselves. We must look towards love, exchange, and fellowship to guide us, collectively, to a place of positivity and growth. We must create new economies of giving, taking, belonging, and being rather than ones which prize individualism and violence.

We shall be the vessel – the bearer of our rebirth to something greater than we are now. Nature, as we have said, is the manifestation of the intelligence of a living universe. We must take on that universe’s calling, recognise our place within it, and transform into something greater than any individual

In 2018 I began Fragile Nature, a new body of work comprising 16 paintings in total. Continuing my investigation of primordial forms and sacred geometry, I turned my focus to the vesical piscis (Latin for fish bladder). This is the shape that is created where two circles of the same size intersect, also known as the mandorla (Italian for almond) and Yoni (sanskrit). There is no English word to describe this shape. I felt compelled to work with this ancient symbol and to help bring it back out of the shadows, and place it in the broad light of day.

Ashraf Jamal, in his essay states, “A shape and form typically considered feminine – Yonic - it speaks to the paradoxical relationship of surface and depth. Another word for Yoni is Pindika, which, curiously, is aniconic – not a definable form, but that which confounds form, which speaks to a more mysteriously generative source. It is this aniconic register which reveals Payne’s quest. She is not merely intrigued by shapes and forms for their own sake, but also their womblike inscrutability.”

Dr Jean Benedict Raffa explains, “...the mandorla represents the sacred divide between spirit and matter, masculine and feminine, self and other. The space wherein these apparently irreconcilable opposites overlap is an image of hope for our torn world, a healing place where we can reconcile our struggles with life and each other.”

In my two compositions, Ultraviolet Light and Deep Forest, I offer a meditation on form and colour. Each is a selection 9 out of 20 paintings, they come from an ongoing series of works through which I explore colour and primordial shapes; the circle, oval, lingam and yoni.

Taking a meditative approach, I spend time in preparing the ground upon which I paint. For most of the works I used canvas as my support, for a couple I stretched silk over the canvas for a finer finish and for others I use a thick weave polish linen. Each painting has its own journey and makes its own demands in order to become a unique work. With some I painted up to 10 layers of oil, primer, which I then sanded down to a smooth alabaster- like finish before appplying oil color. In others I first primed with black gesso and then with white primer which I then sanded back to reveal the black, others I applied gold leaf and others I created a thread-like texture using acrylic paste and hacksaw blade.

My whole process involves adding veils of color, allowing for drying time, and then sanding areas away, revealing the texture and color of underlying layers. Sometimes I sand all the way back to the white of the oil ground so as to reveal the light again. I seldom add white to lighten my colors, instead I use the white of oil ground to reflect the light back through the veils of transparent hues, much like a stained glass window. I may repeat this process many times over until the paintings ask no more of me.

In this series of paintings, I am attempting to capture the color and evoke the mood of ultraviolet light. Working predominantly with the upper aspect of the color spectrum, using ultramarine blue, unltramarine violet and a little bit of magenta. These colors have a cooling effect and balanced with black and white evoke both power and serenity. The shapes assume a three dimensional form or act as portals, evocative of the principles of the masculine (lingam, yang, light) and the feminine (yoni, yin, dark) - Tracy Payne